Critique: Weddings in General (Long Post – BEWARE)

So, as I’ve alluded to before, I am presently engaged to my one true love, Arthur.  Art and I have been together for just over 2 years, and have been inseperable ever since our first “date.”  Our relationship progressed quite quickly, and we were living together after 11 months, which naturally led to marriage talk…

Since we’ve been doing things at our own pace, in our own way since the beginning, I told Art right away that I’d like every aspect of our nuptuals to be personal and done the “AP” way…Arthur felt the same and has complied with my request regarding the (perfect) ring:

…to the engagement itself, documented on our webpage (yes – Penelope and Arthur are psuedonyms, although this will be the only time I ever admit it on here!)

- Which brings me to my critique – of the usual “wedding.”  While Art and I are having a large wedding (250 guests), we will be taking care to do everything as we want it – NOT the way “things are done” typically.  For example:

The Ceremony:

• Art and I will not be getting married in a church – because we aren’t religious people.  I have known numerous couples who have done so anyway, but that just seems insincere to me, and I would rather NOT begin our life together on that note…

• No “Love is…” reading!  We will pick out readings that are meaningful to us and they will be read my family members who have been especially important in our lives.

The Bridal Party

• We are not having a huge bridal party for several reasons:

  1. We aren’t having an ornate church wedding, so what would the need be?

  2. We don’t have tons of siblings to accomodate.

  3. We don’t have tons friends that we have to try to accomodate – we are fortunate that by now everyone seems to understand that we’re doing what works for us.

• Art’s “Best Man” may very well be a “Best Woman” (or we might call her another “Maid of Honor”) because his best friend is a girl.  Art still feels somewhat uncomfortable with the scoff at traditional male/female expectations though, so she still may end up on the bride’s “side.”

• Our party may not be comprised of evenly matched boy-girl “couples” because most of Art’s friends are female and I refuse to “make him pick some guys” as one of my recently-married girlfriends suggested.

• My “maids” will not be matchy-matchy, in terrible, pastel-colored, ill-fitting gowns.  I am actually on the hunt for multiple knee or tea-length designs available in the same fabrics and colors.  Ideally, I’d pick 3 or 4 choices and the girls can pick what they feel most comfortable in.  The dresses will be chocolate brown, which looks good on everyone, in the hopes that they really, honestly will be able to wear them again (and will even WANT to do so).

  • BRIDEZILLA MOMENT: I made them buy matching shoes already – I know, we’ve got over a year to go!  In my defense though, they were on clearance for $15, are cute, and are walkable!



• No tacky accessories or gifts!  The girls will all recieve Tiffany necklaces that will compliment their dresses, strapless or not, and the guys will recieve engraved cufflinks.

The Wedding Dress

• I don’t like pouf and I’m not going to be pretending to be a princess for the day.  I want to look like the best possible version of ME  on OUR day (i.e. not “my” day).  To this end, I don’t want anything strapless as I never normally wear strapless, and I don’t want anything overly glitzy.  The dress I’ve decided on is unique, slightly antiquey, but also modern (I’ll be removing the bow and belt and replacing with a light brown sash, I think…)

Hair & Jewelry

• No stuffy updo for me!  I want it long, wavy, and down or half-up since I very rarely wear my hair up – and NO TIARA!

• No matchy-matchy rhinestone madness!  I think I’ll go for more ornate earrings than I usually wear, and then a great bracelet – definitely NOT matching, big, earrings-necklace-bracelet set…

The Reception

• No lame, basic decorations – i.e. tealights on mirrors or floating candles in a bowl (on a mirror); I’d much rather have a simple flower situation, or do something with paper lanterns…?

• No cheesy, useless, wasteful favors!  We actually hope to rent an old school photo booth and then the favors would be glass photo coasters for the pics – how cute!  Since the coasters come in sets of 2, the top one will have a piece of paper in the frame saying, “Have a drink on us!” and the bottom will have a picture of us in it!

• The music will be completely chosen by us!  Our first dance will be something meaningful, not “Lost in the Moment” by Big & Rich; no “Butterfly Kisses” for the Daddy/Daughter dance, etc.  So far, our picks for first dance are:

  1. Gold to me – Ben Harper

  2. Let’s Stay Together – Al Green

  3. At Last – Etta James

  4. Everlong – Fu Fighters

 Food

• Buffet all the way!  I hate hate hate that people think buffets are either low-class or not as nice as sit-down service – I LOVE buffets!  As a non-meat eater, I appreciate the ability to pick and choose what and how much I want.

• We’re also customizing our menu to allow for food we like – i.e. pasta for me, and good food in general for Art!

Cake

• No huge, nasty monstrosity for us, but we haven’t decided yet what we’d like in its place – maybe one smaller decorated cake and sheet cakes behind the scenes, maybe cupcakes, maybe no cake!

- Everyone keeps telling us that it’s our day and we can do whatever we want, so I’m really hoping that they all keep this in mind as it approaches…