Welcome to the Jungle

Although we’ve edged our way into summertime, the unseasonably cold weather us Milwaukeeans have been experiencing makes this post-re-applicable.  I’ve been having problems with WordPress since my employer blocked it, along with Twitter, and I haven’t been able to get into the blog!  (Damn you, password-saving technology, which allows me to over-depend on my computer to do the job of my memory…)  I initially penned this post in April, but had issues publishing – happy reading, and here’s hoping that we soon get some wear out of our summer wardrobes!  (sidenote: I completely don’t remember why this post is titled as such…I’m sure it was intended to be relevant/witty?)

(from 4.21.09)  Following an unseasonably warm Friday night and Saturday this weekend (obviously we couldn’t have gotten a full weekend of warmth – this is Wisconsin, afterall), I feel like another dressing guide is needed.

Although I like winter, at least the beginning of it, when everything is pretty and white, when the sun still shines more than it doesn’t, all too many of us in the northern hemisphere-ites spend the entire long, cold, lifeless season (at least after the Resort season, which was pretty bleak this year, anyway) looking forward to the breezy, bright styles that the spring shows have whet our appetite for sooo many months before…only to have far too many girls skip the season, fashion-wise, completely – and head straight for summer!

During our dinner date Friday and our couples-outing Saturday night, far too many of these seasonally inappropriate shapes were spotted at each of our venues:

• Denim Minis – I’m sure this will come up periodically in my blogs, but I hate the things – especially cut-off denim minis.  Although I concede that (hemmed-edge only) denim minis are adorable on little girls, and can be chic-ishhhh… swathing the perfect bums of the spring break crew and otherwise young, toned, beach-goers; heck – I wouldn’t even turn down a dark wash, paired witch darker tights and a kicky pair of boots paired with a snuggly sweater in the autumn…(deep breath)…they are not appropriate for MOST women over the age of 23, on the basis of the following: leg shapliness, and also class expectation.  While leg-shapliness is self-evident in terms of definition, “class expectation,” is a bit dodgier.  Distressed denim minis remind people of Britney Spears during the peak of her TTM (Trailer Trash Material) phase; they reak of Mariah Carey in her rolled-waistband, crochet halter days (are those over yet?); worst of all, they remind me of something Pamela Anderson would wear.  Hence, distressed denim minis in the summer = 1/classy (the inverse of classy, for you non-mathophiles).  Whew!
• Sleeveless Tops – Sleeveless tops are meant to show off toned arms and/or fab tans.  This is April in Wisconsin: chances are, you’ve got neither.  Even if you do, 60-degree weather still can’t be maintained for more than a few hours at a time, so layer on a tee or a jacket, and come join us back in the real world, where we don’t all look like MObama.  Thank You.
• Flip-Flops (worn at night) – lots of times these accompany the peeves listed above – which is fine – in the SUMMER.  Otherwise, it’s just sad.  I am not yet summer-carefree and thus, do not want to spend my evening looking at your dank bar-feet and worrying that you’ll be coming to my place for an afterparty, danking-up my cream carpet for sure.  Since summer a-bars usually take place outside, flip-flop-feet are more acceptable then.

On the PLUS side, Springtime allows for:

• Layering!  While even the tiny cami under your floaty chiffon top turns constricting and sweat-inducing on the hottest of summer days, springtime welcomes such forays into femininity.  Add a sweetly taylored jacket and jeans for cooler days, and save your 3″ chino shorts to pair it with come summer time.
  • I am obsessed with this top – how adorable with great, dark, skinny jeans and flats for now, and shortie khaki shorts and metallic gladiator sandals later?!

• Scarves!  I’m so over them in the hot-hot weather – I live in Wisconsin – I wear a scarf for 8 to 9 months out of the year, and I enjoy sporting a naked neck when the conditions allow for it!  In a light fabric, and paired with a trench during the spring, though, a scarf makes a perfectly chic headcover for those unexpected showers (I have curly hair and bangs – protecting them from moisture is practically a part-time job for me in spring!).  I especially adore this one, from Banana.

  

• Speaking of jackets…this is another of my (many) shopping weaknesses – somehow, I’ve managed to collect a spring jacket and a winter coat in ever nuetral color (olive and burgundy included), and have now moved into prints (graphic tone-on-tone turquoise for spring, and a gorgeous black and jewel-toned brocade for winter nights – I die!).  This one NEEDS a place to hang in my closet:  Clearance?!  I’m on it!